Laying it Down

There has been a war going on in my head ever since the idea of starting a blog landed there. There is no doubt it was placed there by the Lord, but because of that there is also no doubt that Satan is trying to derail it.

And in complete honesty, he has been succeeding. Although I want this to bring glory to the Father alone, I have been focusing more on how I will be successful, how I will reach people and speak to them. I have spent hours upon hours thinking up ideas for this blog myself rather than asking the Lord to speak through me.

While the Lord has been whispering truth, I have been listening more to the lies:

Your blogs must be perfect before you share them.

Your social media must be uniform and aesthetically pleasing.

You can use this to make yourself known.

But praise the Lord for His kind and very much needed slaps in the face every now and then. When I wasn’t listening to his still voice, he spoke through human voices to make it more obvious:

It’s not about the look, it’s about the mission and the message.

Then as I continued to be stubborn, He gave me an annoying feeling of unrest as I continued to lay on my bed trying to think up my own plans until I had had enough.

This is me officially laying down the burden of being in control, and telling Satan that he no longer has a place in this journey. This is me dropping back into the shadows so that my Father’s beauty no longer has to be dimmed.

God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart.
Examine me through and through;
find out everything that may be hidden within me.
Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.
24 See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on,
and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways—
the path that brings me back to you.

Psalms 139:23-24 TPT

Heavenly Father, that is my prayer. I surrender to you completely. Make me a vessel for your truth and authentic love, and nothing more.

♡ a tethered heart

A New Season

As summer quickly comes to a close, I can’t help but look back in awe and praise at all the Lord did in me. You see, I entered into summer with some pretty bold prayers.

Come wreck me.

Do whatever you want to do.

Say whatever you want to say.

Move however you want to move.

Change whatever you want to change.

I was scared of what might happen. And quite honestly, it wasn’t always easy as the Lord went to work. So many thoughts swept through my head:

Am I called to missions?

Why am I even going to college?

Should I change my major?

What is God’s plan for my life?

I was getting anxious. I wanted to know the entire plan for my future… all of it. Whether it was a 10 step plan or a 100 step plan, I wanted to know so I could get moving. But the Lord wanted me to rest and enjoy the period of change he was walking me through. As I began to question everything that I thought I was sure about, I realized how little I had been trusting God and how much I needed to be. As I began to focus on the Giver himself more than what He was giving me (or not giving me), He began to make more things known to me. It’s funny how that works. When we give up, the Lord gives.

The Lord sure did give me a lot: A lot of passion, a lot of inspiration, a lot of community, and a lot of risks to take.

And this blog is the first one. I told Him I was trading in self consciousness for vulnerability at the beginning of the summer, and he jumped right on that, whispering:

Be vulnerable with those close to you.

But then reach farther.

It’s not always easy to pray big prayers. And it’s definitely not easy to wait for the answers. But don’t let that stop you because the Lord has a sweet journey for you, and I don’t want you to miss it.

♡ A tethered heart