Here I Go

These are my unedited snippets as I make my way to training camp to prepare for Nepal:

So I’m sitting at my gate waiting to board the plane to Atlanta, Georgia and it finally hit me that I’m actually going to Nepal. It didn’t seem as scary when it was in the future and I was still in my comfort zone but as I sit by myself knowing that it will be a month before I come back home, my nerves are increasing. Questions are flooding through my head like, “Why did you decide to do this?”, “You think you can really be gone for a month?”, and “why didn’t you just stay home for the summer instead of causing all this stress and fear?” But I know that those questions are being placed in my head my Satan and I’m here to tell him that he has no place in my mind. The Lord goes before me and stands behind me and I have no need to fear because of that.

Now I’m sitting on the floor in Atlanta waiting for the shuttle to take me to Adventures in Missions! I’m getting more and more excited, but still nervous. I started to get hungry but I didn’t want to start eating the little amount I brought already so I pulled out my Bible to be spiritually fed (sorry that was corny). I read Romans 10:14-17 which talks about how there has to be people who share the good news for others to hear. It also talked about how the main purpose of sharing the Gospel is simply to share because not everyone will be ready to believe. This encouraged me that all I have to do is share and the Lord will work out the rest in his perfect timing. I especially love verse 15 (that everybody knows) which says “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” I want to flourish, I want to be beautiful on the inside, and this verse tells me that the true way to do that is to share God’s love, and I will keep that in the center of my mind as I step into this crazy amazing adventure. 

Lord I am here. I am in Atlanta where the amazing journey you’re taking me on begins. I can’t believe it’s here, that I’m actually doing this. I am called to obey you and surrender my life to you. Here I am Lord, heart abandoned, take me and make me beautiful. Take me and lead me to your will. My life is yours. This is about you and not me. Turn my face to yours in awestruck wonder and keep me from turning to the world. And use me to bring others alongside me to look at and worship you. Help me bring people to you, not to me. Lord, you have sent me so that people can LISTEN about all else. Some may be ready, others will not be. But that is not for me to worry over, you take care of the rest. Holy Spirit, speak through me and fill me with joy and peace. This job you have given me, this calling, is beautiful. Use me to express that beauty and not taint it. I need you Lord now and forever. Amen. 

Thank you so much to everyone who has made this possible for me. I can’t thank you enough for giving me this life changing opportunity. I cannot wait to share my adventures and God moments! Catch ya later 😉

Interruptible

The most commonly heard phrases among my seniors and I these days are “I cannot wait to get out of here” and “there is not point in being here anymore.” We spend our days at school counting down until we can go home, or we fail to show up at all. We are all just waiting for our current season of life to end so that we can begin a new one. 

But I was recently reminded that as our days in high school are quickly coming to an end, we should be urgently seeking out opportunities to bless others and make an impact before it is too late rather than wasting away each day. Regardless of there being something exciting in the future, each day is just as important as the next. I can’t imagine how many opportunities I blindly miss each day by being discontent with where I am at. I know now that contentment is finding joy amidst any circumstance and is always within reach, it’s just a matter of if I want to grab it.

And I have decided that from now on I will do my very best to not miss any more opportunities. I know that I will fail many times, but I will also succeed many times. I have decided to be interruptible: throughout my busy days of planning for the future, I will joyfully allow the present to stop me in my tracks. 

My prayer every morning is that God would use me to bless others everyday. My goal is to not let my excitement for the future cause me to miss the opportunities the Lord has for me in the present.

I was also recently challenged to ask God why I was specifically excited for Nepal. As I prayed through it, I realized that this concept of being interruptible stuck out again. When I go to Nepal, it will be the ultimate interruption from my normal life; it will be a month of selfless serving, and I cannot be any more excited. But it dawned on me that if I cannot be uninterruptible for minutes of my day, how will I be uninterruptible for a month?

I am thankful that the Lord has shown me these things lately so that I can prepare my heart better to love on the people of Nepal by loving on the people around me right now. 

Flowers

Psalm 103:15-18

The life of mortals is like grass,
    they flourish like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
    and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
    the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
    and his righteousness with their children’s children—
with those who keep his covenant
    and remember to obey his precepts.

The word that sticks out to me the most in these verses is FLOURISH.

Did you notice that the word was not “survive”?

The definition of flourish is to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way. 

So what does that look like?

The verses spell it out for us. It is not doing life your own way and doing what you think is best. It is fearing the Lord, striving for righteousness, and obeying his commands.

A lot of people see that last one and are bothered by a God that would command and not just encourage. 

But do you see the result of obeying Him?

You will flourish.

God has graciously given us the ability to flourish, just like flowers do.

And I think that is amazing.

(And I love being compared to flowers because they’re the best).

We have to remember, though, that the Lord will remain sovereign while we bloom. 

He has control over our fleeting lives. 

That is the big reality for me. 

My life is fleeting. I have no idea when I will be done on this earth.

So why do I so often waste precious time?

The one thing I am sure of is that going to Nepal is not wasting precious time. I am confident that this is a part of God’s plan for my life, and he is moving and helping me flourish even as I am preparing to go. And I am thrilled to see the kind of flower I become.

But don’t you think i’ll let that get to my head! Because flowers are so weak.

Just like me.